Drums Lesson!

Today’s a Thursday. Today’s the day that I had two tests back to back. During Political Science admittedly the questions were kind of tough. Thank God for Miss Lilian Chan for she’s the reason I memorized all the amendments the night before. Later, also thanks to the same Miss Chan for telling me beforehand to just focus on the assignment. For that, I owe you one babe! :)

Later, during lunch someone surprised me with something really sweet… Thank you… =’)

After Islamic Studies I went lepak-ing with Sofiya and Zaim and then around 7pm Wenli and I left for the ICB room for our first drums lesson. Well, it’s not really Wenli’s first as she’s joined since last semester. But anyway, I had so much fun during class! Those months I spent with that grumpy, old, fat instructor at Yamaha paid off! I still remember most of the basics he taught me even after two years of not being near a drum set! And for that, Wenli and I and two other students are eligible for the intermediate class :) When he said, "Those who are joining the intermediate class are...you (Wenli)...and you(Me!)" I felt like jumping since I haven't practiced for some time now. We don’t have to go through the beginners’ class! Can’t wait for my next class! Plus, our instructor is nice! Did I mention that my old instructor was grumpy, old, and fat?

And now I just came back from supper with my favorite person. I’m going to miss you so much during the holidays… :( Now I want to go practice your song on your guitar :)

Later everyone!

-C-

PMS

I hate this feeling. I hate feeling pissed. I hate being pissed. I really do. Therefore, in conclusion, I hate Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS).

. . .

I’ve always hated it whenever my friends back in high school gave me that bull excuse of ‘it’s that time of the month’ whenever they're in their sour mood. I really hated it. Don’t tell me you’re annoyed simply because you can’t help your biological predisposition. I used to not believe in it. You do can choose how you feel, you know. Even if someone provokes you, you can always take a deep breath and count to ten. Even if the most disastrous event were to happen in your life, you can always say, “Hey, I am devastated but at the end of the day I’m capable of deciding my own fate.” Well, that was how I used to see things until one day I realized that I myself can’t run from this PMS cycle… I’m no exception :( When it’s that time of month I too can get pissed without any solid reason.

Right now I am pissed but for reasons unknown even between me and the pages of my unpublished drafts… But as I wrote previously, please, just give me some time. I can safely assure you two days from now, InsyAllah, I’ll be all cheery again. Besides, Chesza is the happy-go-lucky one, no? *sigh...*

Whatever it is, I’m glad for this loyal guitar on my lap now, the only ‘friend’ that won’t get mad at me when I’m in no other mood than to sleep. Thank you dear guitar, thank you its dear owner.

-C-

p/s: Dear God, please take this feeling away as I have two more tests to go! Huhu…

My Star

I’ve always wished upon a star,
A star so bright it dimmed my sight.
But then I looked at where you are,
I can’t believe I’ve stand beside
you for this long. Yet only now I know what it means,
A letter sent back to its origin.
I want to smile, I want to grin,
Some said, “Stop smilin’ there you foolish kid!”
I’ve never dreamed upon a star,
That grows in my garden, not so far.
Please sweet star hear my call,
Be mine forever, and ever more.

-C-

Thank You :)

Thank You for lunch,
Thank You for Rendition,
Thank You also for the ice cream.

Thank You for your smile and also for your laugh,
An extra Thank You for the 'earth' that you dug,
But most importantly...
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

-C-

p/s: Thanks for the lovely day I had today… :)

TIME

I’ve always said this and I’m going to say it again. For me, I believe that time heals everything. Although this applies to me, I’m not asking anyone to follow me or something (still, anybody care to join?) Whatever it may be, time just heals it for me. Of course sometimes with help from other factors too but TIME’s the essential.

Some people write in their diaries,

Some cry their hearts out,

Some scream out loud,

Some just need to shoot the enemy…

I JUST NEED TIME.

Of course I admit that I’m a weeper too. Sometimes I cry…and sometimes I sleep. But the truth is, I don’t believe in putting emotions first over rational thinking. I know some people do but I don’t yet I have nothing against the person who does. Been there, done that. I mean, when I was younger yes, I would scream to the people I care about or in whatever way supposedly to ‘teach them’. But I’m older and I know better now. Putting a sour look never helps anyone. So I made a decision a few years back that when I’m emotionally unstable I would just shut up and let the emotion subsides on its own instead of attempting to take things into my own hand.

Quoting my best friend, Shila, “I’ve seen the people I love got taken away from me by God just like that. Then tell me, what is the point of arguing over silly stuffs with your own friends? You never know what tomorrow holds so just keep it inside and trust your friends.” She said that a few weeks after her father’s death.

I’m not any better than anyone. I still make mistakes and I’m still learning. But trust me, when it concerns my friends I would rather give up my Physics class (and you people know how much I love those classes) than see my friends get disappointed with me. But just give me the time to digest everything because sometimes I can be a bit slow. The thing is I don’t want to take sudden actions and then later jeopardize anything between us. And again, trust me when I say it is easy for me to be sad but it is also very easy for me to be happy again…provide there’s still time in this world.

-C-

The 'Rents Are Back!!! :)

It is true that everything happens for a reason :)

Last night I was really sad that my parents’ flight were delayed for hours. At first they were scheduled to arrive at 11 pm but then delayed to 4 am, and then later my dad said maybe they’ll only land on Saturday. I was really down.

But then they arrived 12 hours later at 3 pm today and I am very glad for various reasons. For various reasons that, again, only known between me and the pages of my unpublished draft.

Seriously though, if they had arrive on any of the earlier time I would have to drive to KLIA at night. Instead because they arrived this afternoon, my parents and myself were not as concern than if I have to drive all alone in the dark. So yeah, the All Mighty does know what’s best for me :) I should have not complained so much the night before.

-C-

Resolution

Okay, since the two people living next door were complaining that I haven’t put up a real entry for a while so I did this one ESPECIALLY for you girls! :) So, this entry is to correspond with my New Year’s Resolution which is to Stop Flirting.

Yeah, the people laughed the first time they saw that piece of paper pinned on my soft board written, “STOP FLIRTING!” Because here’s the thing, people. I used to really enjoy flirting. I justify it by saying it was really just harmless flirting. Sometimes I even told the guys beforehand, “This is Syaza, I love to flirt so don’t expect anything.” It went on well…until one day I found out why it is hard for me to get the guys that I like. And my saviors are the two best friends - Hafiz and Pa’an. Hafiz was the first to say to me, “How can a guy know you like him because you flirt with ALL the guys!” At first I was really crushed until it dawned on me…he is right, damn. And then fast forward a few months later his best friend said the same thing without prior knowledge of the earlier comment by Hafiz. So I guess it must be true, huh.

But then last year I had a REALLY BAD experience. I got involved with a flirt. But he is a PRO. He is MUCH better than me. All the girls that he came into contact with fell head over heels for him, seriously. And I was no exception. I was swooned by his charms and basically all my roller-coaster ride last year was caused by him. And then one day while I was reminiscing it came to me; I have a feeling that God purposefully send him for me to get a taste of my own medicine. I know it's not like that person intentionally wants to hurt me or something, but I was fooled to be hoping for something more. Of course eventually I got hurt over and over because bit by bit I found out more and more that he’s been playing everyone. So I realized…wow, so THIS is how it feels like when I told the guys, “Sorry but you’re just a friend.” Now I feel bad. If only I could find back those guys and apologize to them personally…

Anyway, back to my New Year’s Resolution story, so yeah, that’s the plan. I want to stop flirting. Why, because first of all I don’t want to hurt any more people. Second of all, I believe in karma and I don’t want another repeat of last year. And third of all, so that the person I really like knows that he’s the only one I’m talking to right now :)

-C-

Murphy's Law

First of all, HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO RASSYID AND TAUFIK! :)

...Oh my God! I was so happy today! And to think that last week I had to force a smile because of all the drama surrounding me. But not today though! I think the cycle is about to turn upwards again :) I've always said that I do believe in Murphy's Law. Or simply put I do believe in the power of faith. If I just hang in there, inevitably something good is going to come out of it all. I'm not saying that I am over-the-top THRILLED or something but unconsciously I was singing happy tunes while I was driving back home just now! :) Oh girls, I can't even remember that Pig's name anymore.

Now, I just want to do a little summary of my classes so far.

US Government: I totally adore Borges! He's so much better than Fulton, sorry to say. And I love Politics so basically I can sum up that I love the whole course :)

World Religion: So far so good. The class had a few arguments already and as much as I love arguments, I have to disagree with some of the manners of the students. As my Physics lecturer said, "Learning is about changing. If you don't change then you're not learning." So try to open up as this is a sensitive subject.

Physics: I love Mr. Toh because he's so much like Mr. Fo from last semester! I have a confession to make though. Although Physics used to be my favorite science subject in school, it was my worst because I had a really bad teacher. So that is why I hope to redo it again now :)

Macroeconomics: Love Miss Sheila but her voice is just so soft that I sometimes tend to drift in and out. But what can I say, I love money; therefore, I TRULY enjoy economics.

Islamic Studies: Love the Ustazah. Period.

-C-

Zoo!

Now it is time for the story of my day out with the college babes pulak! :) And this story lasted EXACTLY 24 hours...well, almost. Diana is very particular these days.

Let’s see, we were supposed to get out of INTI around 5 pm. But then, knowing the two neighbors, we finally got into the car around 5.40 pm. That reminds me girls, isn’t punctuality one of your new year’s resolutions? Or is it just for classes :p Nevertheless, I still love them! :D

We drove our way to KL and then Damansara and towards the Curve. Unfortunately we got stuck in a massive traffic jam all the way from Pandan Indah to Kepong :( Two hours spent wasted in the car y'all. We arrived at the Curve around 7.40 pm. I guess it was because the next day was a holiday that the whole of KL decided to go out. Oh well.

Anyway, we were starving by then! I know I was! We planned to go to Chilli’s but there isn’t one in the Curve. (Remember that one, Pia :p) After praying and all Diana and I joined the other four at TGI Friday’s. Even though the food was just alright (we should have gone on Rassyid's birthday for the free cake...), it was still so much fun! Especially to those cam whores! I love to take pictures but there were those *cough*Sofiya, Lils, Diana*cough* who swore by the cam! We looked like a bunch of teenagers who were High on flashes. Oh yeah, speaking of High…Wenli, babe, you were a bit tipsy, OK.

...Oops! I meant, KuchingSarawakMalaysia, you were a bit drunk.



After dinner we went to buy the tickets for our late night movie. Even that was a ‘fight’. But of course Game Plan won! Okay okay, next time I’ll bring you girls to go watch a horror movie… And then we thought we want to do a little shopping but around 10 pm all of the shops were already closed :( With no where else to go we headed to Starbucks. One hot chocolate, six girls, one guy, and it equals to two hours of gossiping.

Later we watched Game Plan, the movie that I wanted so much to watch. It was such a sweet and cute movie! The most significant part of the whole deal wasn't from any of the scenes from the movie…it came from the audience. The most significant part of the movie was…when there were six girls crying nearing the end of the movie. I don’t know about them but I cried because Joe Kingman (The Rock) reminded me so much of my daddy with the whole guitar playing and singing to coax his daughter… Especially when Monique - the ballet instructor - said to Joe, “Never underestimate the power of a father because he can make his daughter do things…” something like that la, I can’t really remember. It rings true to me. Like I said before, my mum always let me do what I want to do but if it’s not for my father encouraging me and teaching me guitar, psychology, politics, and about life generally, do you think I’d be where I am now? No way, man.

The movie ended around 2 am and we started making our way back to my house. Oh gosh, last night was the second time I got pulled over by the police. This time it was for speeding… I was driving at 97 km/h at an 80 km/h area. (My second speeding misdemeanor.) But since this is the second time, I knew what to say and the officer let me go because he said, “Saya kesian awak masih P” (Plus there wasn’t a P sticker on my dad’s car!) I’m really grateful he let me go although in my heart I was really praying, "Just give me a ticket but leave my license alone." :( We arrived at my house around 3 am and all of us fell asleep around 4 am. I am so sorry guys that you have to berhimpit and slept in the AV room :(

The next day I woke up around 10 am but the rest only follow suit about an hour later…I think :p We got ready and then around 12 pm we went to…the Zoo! I’ve always promoted the place as our next outing location and FINALLY today I was able to tarik Diana and Elly to go. And I think we all enjoyed ourselves :) And the most memorable part of the whole zoo experience was seeing the Lions mating!!! I went to the zoo EVERY SINGLE YEAR but today was the first time I saw them mating! I think - I think la - they know that I’m finally eighteen and legal! :p After having our lunch there we made our way to see the Animal Show. But halfway through it started raining :( So we made our way to the aquarium. And even there we embarrassed ourselves just when a bunch of guys were coming in. Girls... All in all I think the zoo was an interesting outing for all of us. There was some crazy picture taking and of us just… ‘Exercising.’ (Sorry Di, next time we'll take the train, eh.) We then went back to my home when it started to rain heavily around 3 pm.



Diana and I prayed at my house and then around 4 pm we headed back to The Home… INTI. The ride back was much better than yesterday. There was no jam whatsoever and my friends were all sleeping soundly in the car. Oh yeah but I got to mention that it was raining HEAVILY at Cheras and I can barely see the Mercedes in front of me. My heart was beating like hell but I tried to keep my composure and squinted at the road and alhamdulillah the rain only lasted around 20 minutes or so. It was kind of scary not being able to see more than 5 meters away.

5 pm and all of us more or less can already feel our beds underneath us… Remember that we left around 5.40 pm the day before so yup, it was an EXACTLY 24 hours experience of pure joy and exhaustion :)

-C-

My Hair Story

I’ve always had my hair highlighted since I was fifteen. I started highlighting my hair as a ‘present’ for myself after my PMR examinations. I’ve always wanted to highlight my hair blue though but my dad wouldn’t allow me, said it’s too unnatural. So anyway, yeah, I settled for blonde highlights. That had been my hair color since. Every year that follows I would highlight my hair as a sign of ‘rebel celebration.’ I did it after my form four end-of-year exams and then directly after my SPM examinations. DIRECTLY. Biology paper on Monday, highlight hair on Tuesday. Anyway, as you can see I’ve done it every year…except in 2007. Somehow I didn’t have the chance to do so.

So there I was, stuck with my all natural black hair for a year… I thought I was ready for a more mature and sophisticated look. As in, accept my natural color and be happy with it. I was, but for some reason I woke up today and decided I’m going to do it. But the weird thing is, according to my past records I only highlighted my hair when I’m in a celebratory mood. This week I wasn’t in one. In fact, you can say I’m in a mourning period. But I did it because seeing my hair all highlighted again gave me a sense of…belonging. I really felt like crying tears of joy after seeing how I’ve ‘returned.’

Yeah, that is such a lame excuse. But hey, I miss my inner rock chick. I miss the rebel in me. I miss going against the norm. I miss ME.

-C-

p/s: My mum called me earlier and wanted to take me to trim my eyebrows! I don’t want to! I love my ‘one eyebrow’! That’s me! That’s my identity! Some may call me a freak, but that’s how people can recognize me from afar! That’s how people know “Oh, tu la anak Encik Shukri” as my eyebrows are the result of my daddy’s DNA! :( But…as a daughter I have to obey whatever my mum said if it’s not against the religion… *sigh* Guess I’m ready ibu…