Yani - Ms Lee

A year ago, I went to MMU for some charity concert with him and Shila with her friends. We went because he likes gigs, indie acts, and OAG. Remember, a year ago we were barely two months together so 'whatever he likes I like' :p Anyway, it was a year ago that I was introduced to Yuna. I remember I did not speak a word during her whole performance for I was speechless because...because...I've always wanted to be the first tudung-wearing-guitar-playing Malaysian to become famous! Oh well, I guess God has a bigger plan for me. Or perhaps, He knows I just can't sing for s*** :p

A year after I watched her performance, I had to play her song in front of audiences. Who are they? Sofiya's classmates. It was for her MUS 105 presentation.


I hope I did not ruin Pia's chance to get good marks for her presentation. All the best beb!

-C-

25 Things

Actually my cousin tagged me at Facebook but I'm not really a Facebook girl so I did not do it. But oh well, I'm a blog girl so this is it. Specially for my roommate :p

1. I totally feel guilty sleeping too much at INTI because my roommate would be awake almost... all the time. The only time she sleeps (besides at night) will be in the afternoon and even then she will ALWAYS wake up first before me. Guilty, guilty...

2. I used to be a breakfast-lover girl because my mum taught me to ALWAYS and ALWAYS have breakfast for that is the most important meal of the day. Note the 'used' because now in INTI I'm lazy to eat in the morning.

3. I have to take my three meals per day or not I'll get cranky.

4. And oh, I have to take those aforementioned meals on time or I'll get EXTRA cranky.

5. I'm not particular about food because my philosophy is: "Whatever comes into my mouth will get out of my body in exactly one way looking the same." But I still love food whenever I have the opportunity to choose but if not, oh well, I'm not picky :)

6. Besides food, I love sleeping. Wait, did I mention that already?

7. I was tricked by my dad to play guitar when I was 10. The whole story shall be told to whomever who ask. But point is, I've always wanted to play drums and for taking pity on me, my mum finally offered to pay for my drums lessons when I was 16.

8. My next best kept secret? I finally agreed with my dad that guitar is much better because I can play it anywhere, I can sing while playing my guitar (though not advisable to myself...), and I can actually play songs.

9. I don't, and never will, understand the obsession of playing video games. Never. I did play a few myself whilst growing up but it's just not my thing.

10. As mentioned in an entry before, I would rather have small groups of friends that I can really count on than a huge group but with one or two that would go behind my back once in a while.

11. When a baby, my parents put me in front of Sesame Street and Disney cartoons. Later, I learned to 'read' and watch Doraemon. After that I became obsessed with Sailormoon (I love Dragon Ball too, but I was never obsessed because everybody's into it). Then...Oh God... please don't kutuk me DianaEllyPia, but I used to love Hello Kitty that I have everything of it from meal box to watch. Finally, I turned cool and had this HUGE FASCINATION over all things POKEMON!

12. I was once naive and thought that everything western is good. Thus I suddenly had this secret wish that I had blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. Oh, wait. I take that back. I NEVER wish to have fair skin. I love being tanned :)

13. Once upon a time, my aunt shared a room with me. She loves ERA, so I was forced to listen to that radio station. One day my best friend came over and laughed when she saw my radio was fixed to ERA. Because of that I started listening to Hitz (which I listened to before my aunt's sudden love with ERA happened) and I never look back till now.

14. My first 'gig' ever was...BLUE! Lee Ryan... *drool*...

15. Oh, and I remember one of the reasons that I choose not to apply to a boarding school is because I was afraid that if I go to one, I won't be able to attend any other concerts during school semesters.

16. My favorite number is 7. Why? Add the number on your left. And if you can't figure out why that number is important to me, consider yourself not a friend.

17. I was born at 2.45 pm and for some reason I believe that is why I am the least active in the afternoon.

18. Before, I used to not understand why teenagers like to go out with their friends. I mean, going out with friends has so many limitations. Not enough money, can't shop, can't eat at nice restaurants, and pening with our public transportation. But after the first time I went out with my friends, I understand that sometimes I need others' company too besides my family.

19. Yes, I love living in KL. I love being a KL girl. But you know what, now I can say I'm a KL-Nilai girl. Which means, I'm more Malaysian now than I was before. Yay... :)

20. I love fast, quick, speed, and other adjectives that fit into the category. This applies to almost everything in my life. Most times I ruined my belongings at the expense of that.

21. When I was younger, I never agree with my father when he suggested we adopt a little brother or sister for me. Then when I was older, around 13, I regretted not agreeing for I started to love kids. But now, I'm GLAD I did not agree back then for I love being the baby. It's not bad to be the baby; I learned a lot from other people's mistakes and came out better.

22. I've always dreamed of a small wedding consisting of only immediate families and friends. My parents were always against this for they say weddings are about the parents, mostly. But if it's up to me, a small one is perfect. Remember I love small groups of friends?

23. I don't know why, but I no longer write... :( Neither poems nor fictions... Me sad...

24. I have a weird sense of fashion. Sometimes people don't understand. I don't like looking like one of the models in magazines. I never really care what's in and what's not because as they say, fashion comes and goes. However, I know my style and I'm more than comfortable with it.

25. I may looked garang on the outside whenever I'm with him, but trust me, inside, I feel he's one of the persons that I respect, trust, and love the most.

-C-

Twenty

This year is quite interesting for me and most of my friends. This is because a lot of us will be celebrating, or have celebrated, 20 years worth of living. And that is a HUGE deal. Why a huge deal? Personally, it is because of the realization that I have been living on this earth for two decades. TWO DECADES.

Some would say that age is just a number. How old you are is just a matter of formality and mathematics. They say that your experiences are the real teachers and measures of how mature you are. To some extent I do agree but, on the other end I have to say that age DOES say a lot of things too. It tells people of the amount of hours you've been breathing on earth. It tells people of how many falls you have encountered in life. Basically, the older you are, "the more salt you have tasted" in life. This is the reason why I have so much respect for those older than me. I remember once my aunt asked me why I bother calling my friends who are one year older 'kak' or 'bang'? I replied to her simply because the person's OLDER. How weak they may seem on the outside, those quiet moments are actually restraints from regretting saying or doing anything later.

I am twenty now. God. It is still surreal for me to say (or type) it. I'm no longer a -teen (even though some have decided to call it as twenteen.) But reality, you can't run from it. I am twenty, and proud of it. Some are scared, some just shrug it off. I do neither. I happen to be the type of person that love birthdays, anniversaries, rayas, any special date for that matter. Sentimental? Perhaps. Is it also because of the gifts? Nope, I didn't get as much gifts as I used to when I was ten. Why is it then that dates are important to me and the special ones are treasured? It is because these special days are the time for me to be thankful and to be merry.

Anyway, back to the gift story. My present this year is extra special. Instead of getting material things, my gift this year is the simple realization that I am actually loved by those close to me. I am a huge believer in "small but precious" groups of friends. Even though I don't have a whole floor of friends that I can go in and out of their rooms, the ones that I have do care and for that they mean the world to me. Same goes for my family. Mine may just consist of four people (+ Kak Nor), but these are the people that will really love me unconditionally, to the core of its meaning.

I am twenty now and I am proud of it. I am a year more mature than before. I am a year wiser than before. I am a year calmer than before. I am a year more grateful than before. I am a year more experienced than before. I am a year more loving than before. I am a year cuter than before. But most importantly, I am a year OLDER than before with the whole intention of enjoying and learning more in this year to come.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.



-C-

Alpha

I know a lot of girls who love to take pictures, especially of themselves. Thus, the new slang of the century - camwhore. It's not just me nor is it just a regional phenomenon for we can see everywhere the addiction to America's Next Top Model and the sudden rise in popularity of DSLR cameras. But me, being the DSLR owner, I love to take pictures more than to be in the pictures.

No, I don't think I'm THAT ugly. And neither am I embarrassed to take pictures of myself. I'm willing to pose if I'm asked to (the product of having to pose for my father since I was, like, 3). But still, none can compare to the feeling that I get when I took good pictures especially of my friends having fun. Priceless. For experiences can't be repeated.

I do love photography. And my favorite subjects are human beings. I've always dreamed of taking at least one portrait per day since I was in high school. I love people, I love emotions and expressions, a sincerity you can never get elsewhere. So when some people pity me for not having a lot of my own pictures in my computer, I feel pity to that person myself. Although I'm beautiful *cough*, I enjoy capturing the beauty of others more. I don't mind being the photographer. I don't mind being the person 'behind the scene'. What I capture is mine to share with the world.

Let's put it this way: I love taking pictures. Therefore, taking that joy of mine away from my hands is as much a sin as changing the channel when I am watching the Grammys.

-C-

truth as a defense

This is what I don't understand:

When the others do it, it is what the rakyat want. But when your own people frog-leaped, it is unethical. My question is, who are the ones without principle here? For me, it is easy; those who betrayed the party do not deserve to be in the party. It is like having a cheating boyfriend...you should throw a party (excuse the pun) when he leaves.

Okay, I understand it is not as simple as that. But facts are facts. They left, regardless of the reason behind it. And just like an Academy Award winning actor sometimes got passed for a movie, so does a professional politician should respect the state AND federal constitution. THE MAJORITY HAS THE RIGHT TO RULE. Trying to defend what's no longer yours is not only unprofessional but also childish. Why, scared to lose the Camry?

This part is a bit controversial. The state rulers DO have power; just like when the Sultan of Terengganu has the right to choose the MB before (and you were cheering for that). Maybe I am a bit of a traditional Malay. Although monarchy is unnatural, so is democracy. But for me, personally, as long as I am not ruled by a tyrant, I have no problem respecting the royal family. I don't believe in the tulah but I believe in history where their ancestors are the ones who started to rule the land we call home now. And as a Muslim, I believe there is always a reason for everything that happens. STOP LIVING IN DENIAL. Your coalition is weak, face it. But no, you get offended when people say so. Please la, don't even let me start on PAS and DAP. But PKR and even PR actually, only established and survived because of Anwar. What's next when he's not around?

I know this post may sound unlike me. However, I am still not a BN girl. I will never join Puteri although they wear pink skirt and scarf. But I now subscribe to the principle of "truth as a defense." What you choose to do of this post is entirely up to you. But listen, before you decide to riot, think carefully of what you're rebelling against. Thank you.

-C-

P/s: I wrote this entry on my HTC so I do not know how the post would look on a normal pc so excuse the weirdness, if any.

Karaoke Day

Reunion of the girls

(Semangat kot si Asilah tu)

-C-

Simple

Those closest to me, especially my family members, know why I've been so depressed these past weeks.

Yesterday I told my cousin, in a nutshell, about what happened. This is all she had to say, "Aw, I pity you," and somehow that is the best response I've ever gotten so far.

I know a lot of people are trying to help me by offering solutions but too many 'solutions' is also a headache to me. I mean, I'm almost twenty, I think I know what to do, basically. Sometimes when I'm offered the 'why don't you' that I've already done, I felt insulted.

So that is why a simple sympathy from someone close to me is the thing that I craved for the last weeks.

Just sympathy.

Ain't life simple sometimes.

-C-