Per written about me on the right side of this page, I see
myself as an optimist. Well, optimist may be too strong a word; I am a person who
likes to see my glass as half full. This positive attitude of mine is the
simple result of my strong faith in society and in God. Seldom do I stress over
the little things in life because my faith in people is greater than my doubt
for their ability to do the right thing most of the time. Also, seldom do I complain
about my present life circumstances because I have faith that God has written a
much more beautiful story arc for me than I could ever imagined.
When I first started on my journey to become a student of
political science, I honestly could not answer to those inquiring about my
plan once I was conferred with a piece of paper that has BA in political science
written on it. All I knew was that I had a really strong desire to study power
structure and ways for goodness to permeate throughout society
especially to those at the bottom of the power pyramid.
In Pittsburgh, the first class I attended was not a course on political science, but a history course on
Islamic civilization. I decided to enroll in that specific course because I
thought—wrongly—that it would be an easy A to me, a Muslim who grew up in a
Muslim-majority nation. More significantly, my decision at the eleventh hour
just before class actually began to enroll in that specific class became the
stimuli that evoked my interest to better understand Islam and Turkey (as successor to the
Islamic Caliphate). Since then, every project, every paper, ever class
presentation that I did at Pittsburgh revolves around issues affecting the Muslim
world.
That was what I wrote in the essay that got me accepted to
the London School of Economics and Political Science to do my MSc.
Now, roughly 5 years later, I am a PhD candidate and Fellow at
the International Islamic University of Malaysia. The first month I am here,
almost everyone I met, from fellow classmates to professors, have asked me the
simple question of why would an LSE graduate come to IIUM? Honestly, I had also asked that
question myself.
But at the end of the day, as much as these all seems to be
my doing, it is actually not—it is His doing. Of course I would be lying if I
said I did not wish to do my PhD at another prestigious university in the UK or
maybe even go back to the US. But as He had planned for me, I got pregnant the
minute I touched down from London, and my priorities changed upside down. As a
consolation, I applied to the best university in Malaysia and was accepted,
with one of the best professors around agreeing to supervise my thesis. But
again, as He had planned, the professor got politically entangled and my employer wanted me to familiarize myself with
the school that I am going to eventually teach in one day.
Now, here is the irony: never in my youthful days had I ever consider applying to IIUM, because I felt it was too Islamic for my liking. But
now, after a quarter of a century under my belt, I am neither lying nor being
defensive when I say that I am very excited to be a part of IIUM.
First of all, I am excited to be part of IIUM because I can’t
wait to become a better Muslim holistically. One of the issues I have always
had was in term of dressing Islamically appropriate. I remember divulging to my
husband and roommate in London how I envy those who are comfortable dressing
according to the Shariah in a non-Muslim country. I envy them. I wanted to be
like them. I wanted to be confident displaying my religion unapologetically.
Yet I was weak. I succumbed to the fashion world as marketed by the industry while
ignoring my inner desire to be a better Muslim. At IIUM, I am expected to
conform not to ‘their’ rules, but to God’s rules, and I am more than happy to
abide. The happiness and contentment within me, I believe, is part of God’s
plan to bring me closer to Him.
Secondly, I feel like IIUM fits my long-term goal to be an
expert in Political Islam with as much an emphasis on Islamic knowledge as well
as on political science. See, I used to question every day and every night, why
has God written ‘political science’ on my destiny card, and not medicine, law,
mathematics or even psychology. Now I have the answer. It is because of my desire to
study Political Islam that I acknowledged the need for me to have substantial knowledge on the religion itself if I am to speak about
politics according to the religion. As a result, I have learned so much more
about Islam. More importantly, I feel so much closer to God.
Who would have thought political science will be that which brought me closer to Islam. If the purpose of life is to submit, I am happy to say that
I am on the right path.