Birthday

Another year gone, more experiences gained, more people met, more heartaches along the way, yet no regret for the year I’ve had :) I have to admit, I love being eighteen. It was the perfect age. Kind of an adult, yet still a kid. I'm legal to watch 18PL (hehe yolatu) movies, yet I still don’t have to vote. I’m still a teenager, yet people do give a second thought to what I have to say. Did I enjoy my life last year? I think so as I regret none that I did. And I love every second of it.

But then, 365 days later, here I am, waiting for the clock to strike twelve again and to officially be nineteen. Although according to my birth cert, I’m only nineteen at 2.45pm... Nineteen, the last of the '-teen' age. Now, am I sad to reach nineteen? Yes, because then I would be one step further from my childhood (which I'll forever hold dearly.) Am I scared to reach nineteen? Yes, because I’m always scared of the future - period. Am I worried, confused, disappointed, annoyed, and crushed to turn nineteen? Honestly, a bit.

I’m listening to John Mayer’s Stop This Train right now. Yet when I think about it, I don’t really want to stop this train. I don’t want to stay static. I do want to embrace changes. I do want to try be a better person. I do want to experience more that there is. I do want to live. And to live, I need to accept the fact that I’m actually getting older by the second. Despite all that, I can’t help but to smile. I’m nineteen and I still have my parents with me. I’m nineteen and I still have my brother with me. I’m nineteen and I still have a roof over my head. I’m nineteen and I still have the opportunity to enjoy every food there is (except for veggies). I’m nineteen and I still have the energy to learn. I’m nineteen and I still have the people I love surrounding me with each breath I take.

For me, it is ironic that as each year goes by, and as we become more mature, our lifespan on earth is actually shrinking. The more I learn, the less time I have to use it. But then, for that nanosecond that I stopped worrying I realized that nineteen is actually just a number. As long as I stay true to myself no matter what my age is, then I am and always will be SYAZA FARHANA MOHAMAD SHUKRI.

Happy 19th Birthday Chesza Babe.

-C-