Strength, I Need

You know how I love to ramble on how I find it weird that some people get things easily and I don’t? (Some may say I’m crazy considering the two new toys I just got.) But I’m talking about life here, not material gains. I don’t care much over material things and that’s why I don’t really count the money I spent. I guess that’s why I’m quite ‘murah rezeki’…I think. But over life, there are just too many downs for me to count. And no, I can now differentiate between my delusional down period of my teenage years and the real problems I faced growing up. Why is it that I have to go through quite a number of obstacles to get very few things?

But being who I am, I have always believed in God more than anything else. As Muslims we have to believe that God does not put obstacles and challenges in front of us if not because we CAN overcome it. So I take it in a nutshell that that's His own unique way of saying ‘I Love You’. He knows we humans are actually strong so that’s why life is hard. If everything is easy, we will take life for granted, thus His love the same way too. I guess that’s why I get ‘stuffs’ from my parents quite easily because honestly, this may shock you, but those ‘stuffs’ do not mean much to me. I can live as happy without them. Take away my DSLR if that’s going to put a smile on your face.

What I’m trying to say is I know why God created me as I am. Why I love to do crazy things, stupid things. Why I love the outdoor, adventures, and discovery. Why I’m going to the States. Why I’m with someone who does not fit even half of my ‘dream guy’ list and yet I dream of him every night and day. It’s because God knows better of my capabilities than myself. I’m not saying that He does not love those who got it the easy way by being with someone who they have almost everything in common with but maybe their strength lies somewhere else. Me? I like a challenge. If God has faith in me, then I have faith that this is my destiny. InsyAllah.

-C-