MY GUY FRIENDS

Well, first of I thought of writing a very HAPPY entry today. This morning started off lovely, doesn’t it Sofiya? And then during Chemistry we started on a new topic which is my favorite of all the topics in Chemistry... the calculation! Then during ENL Ms Judy played a Richard Marx song... (If Sil is here I know both of us would go "awww"...) After that psychology is starting to look better today, Dr. Fulton has finally come to realization that it's give and take.

BUT

Something happened just now that made me think of Sofiya's blog, of her talking and praising her guy friends. And after what happen, I want to do the same thing. See, although admittedly my guy friends don't open doors for me, or blanja me drinks, or whatever, but one thing for sure is, they are never RUDE to me. Never. They may not b the best gentlemen there are out there, but they still treat me with much respect. They would never turn their voice up, they would never use harsh words, and if either party makes a mistake, they would apologize n forgive me as asap. I was wondering while in the toilet and I realized that my friends n I have been saying this a lot here in INTI, "x gentleman ah!" For me, a gentleman is not someone that pulls a chair for me to sit or treat me drinks, but someone who actually treats me like a lady. Simple isn’t it? I'm not saying I haven’t meet any guys here that r gentlemen cause I have, but I'm shocked to meet those who r not. I know I may not b the pretty little thing you have a crush on, but even as friends can’t u respect me enough? For me, the only people who have the right to b rude with me are those who probably won’t know my name in the next 20 minutes.

I'm just currently in a state of shock. How can a guy say something like "blah ah ko" in a rude way? If it's in a playful manner I won’t mind at all. And people, if there's a "haha" at the end of my sentence that means I'm joking, got it? And I thought girls are supposed to be the sensitive ones, eh, my fellow ENL classmates?

I'm just disappointed and now I just want to write about MY guy friends. (I'm doing this in alphabetical orders) First I got Afiq who is my best friend since we were seven. He is like one of the most caring and most gentleman person I have ever met. He treats me right and sincerely care for me and if I'm in a bad situation he would not judge nor say something like "It's that time of month la tu...". And then there's Mu aka Dzul aka Ganu. Although his biggest attribute being that he is DAYM funny, he also cares about me. If I'm sad he would try to make his stupid jokes and if I do hurt him he would still make jokes as a way to say he accepts my apologies! Then there's Faiz, the guy who totally get us girls! He is another guy I know that would never, ever, ever, raise his voice in front of me. Next is Haziq! My other funny friend! He would TOTALLY talk s*** with me but from his tone I can get that they're only jokes. And we do have misunderstandings but a few days later we would get on each other's nerves again. I also got Khaidir, someone whom I can lepak2 with his parents and have a blast. Even in the presence of his parents or without them, he would always treat me right. Nazim would be another guy who I’ve never heard his voice above normal decibel level. The last guy would be my 'boyfriend' for two years. I said that because I was stuck as his assistant for two years! Syawal. Although some of my friends think he's rude, he's actually not. He's just a bit rough but I can see through the way he treats me and his girlfriends is full of respect. He understands the concept of a girl. I totally love Syawal as he understands me and was never rude or ever say hurtful things to me. I don’t remember but if he ever did so, it's forgettable as we forgave each other.

Again, I'm not saying I haven’t met any INTIANs that are nice, but an experience today taught me that not every guy understands how to treat a lady. Some of these guys think it is macho to act rudely and I have no idea where they get this schema.

-C-

August 13 2007 (well it's already 14, whatever :p)

Anyway, today was a Monday and I am so sad! I want to go to my brother's convocation! Like how Sofiya put it, my one and only SIBLING. Not only cannot go to his convocation, cannot meet him at all because i got classes from 10 to 6! Pa, nk gambor, nk post kat sini...


(I can’t believe I miss it!!!)

My first class was SAT (V). USUALLY I would be so sleepy in this class as it's three hours! But today however sleepy or not I was, I tried my best to stay awake as I want to get ANYTHING Mr. Pal was saying in preparation for the mock test we're going to take this Thursday. I don’t know to say if I'm hype for it, but I just want to go into that well-prepared and just get it over with!

Later in the afternoon was our ENL class. That was another fun class, again! Ms Judy is so great! She's so creative in coming up ways to teach this...not la to say dull, but another English subject... Today we had a little debate among the guys and the girls. Open talk on what confusion we have concerning the other gender. It's nice to hear what they're really thinking of, although it's only Gerard speaking!

Then tonight, as Diana and Elly had another night out, I decided to stay in with Sofiya because I really want to study as much as I can because...From Friday onwards I'm not going to hold a book as it's the term break!!! "Yiiieeeehhhhhhhhhhhh!" (Betul ke that Elly? :p)

-C-

Bad Luck/s

Hmh.... Today is quite an interesting day. Okay i just realize that whenever i wrote an entry on how my life has been a routine, something unexpected is sure to happen! Am i suppose to learn from it and keeps my mouth shut next time? Hmh...

Today's first class was chemistry...God I’ve never felt that sleepy for a long time! The weird thing was that Sofiya and I slept around 12 the night before and basically I got 6 hours of sleep but I still felt sleepy! The day before when I just slept for 3 hours, I felt so fresh waking up! But to tell the truth, I’ve realized that about myself (how I'm fresher if I have less sleep hour...) since three years ago, that's why I always sleep late...

After Chem, is ENL. I guess ENL is slowly growing unto me and turning into my favorite subject, because Ms Judy is so creative in teaching us, kind of like my favorite teacher, Mrs Maninder. First we had to fill in lyrics to the song Longer by some Dan... It was kind of cute. After that we had to draw a picture and our 'piece of art' was put on the wall for the whole class to see! Kind of like kindergarten. But my favorite part of the day was during the break... KAPAL TERBANG KERTAS! OMG! I totally miss that feeling! I thought once I went to college that habit will die but I guess it doesn't! Whenever I see sheets of paper I'll instinctively picked it up and make a rocket out of it. And at my previous school, if there's paper plane scattered around the corridor, there's only two people involved. Either my abang man or me! I miss being crazy like in the old days...

After that was the worst class so far. I so hate psychology right now. Not the 'thing' per se, but my course... I still don't get it WHY we have to waste TWO hours of our time scrutinizing over something that is so...petty. But I didn't complain because I’ve learned of all this. When I was younger, I used to rebel and get pretty totally angry towards my teachers if I don't agree with something. But slowly, they told/taught me that my way of getting the message across was wrong. Of course at first I'm very egoistic and did not accept it but slowly I do see that of myself (I can't judge my own self) and I’ve learn to shut up not because I'm willing to conform to what I am against, but out of respect since they ARE the teachers. And elderly. If I have something to say these days, I'll make sure it's something intellectual first not because I'm afraid of being ridiculed, but I believe that you do more thinking when you're not talking (I’ve done an experiment on it. Ask my friends.) People can totally speak out if they want but maybe I'm too eastern that I believe in social harmony...

Anyway, I mean, fine, even if Dr Fulton honestly feel that he's way is way better than ours, the best he can do is guide us but then respect whichever way we choose to take. As if he kept on 'preaching' how it's OK to be in different school of thoughts in psychology, but he just doesn't practice what he preached. As in, RESPECT DIVERSITY IF IT WORKS FOR EACH OF US. Guidance is necessary, but not force.

After that was more bad news. JPA just suddenly decided that we have to take a mock SAT 1 test by NEXT THURSDAY. Don't they get it? SAT is a totally new thing for us, how do they expect us to master it in time? The outcome is, if we DON'T meet JPA's cut-off point, we'll get cut out from applying to IVY LEAGUES... Which is OK to some who never want to go to the US in the first place nor dream of the ivy but I have dreamed of it since I decided to do psychology... Like years ago... I'm really devastated but I don't show it. I'll just have to try my best and trust in God, he'll lay the RIGHT path for me...

All in all, what a day...

-C-

Cries

Hmh... I don’t know where to start. I'm even confused and not sure why it happened. All I know was that we were walking back to our rooms and Sofiya was playing Home by Daughtry on her cell and once we arrived at our room I started...crying.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.

I've been wishing for this dream of mine since I can remember. But now I've started to question myself, why is it that I dream of studying in the United States so much? What's there? Supposedly, I'll learn to be independent and responsible and eventually will mature. ...Will I? I mean, who says by staying here in Malaysia I won’t mature as good as? I know experience will broaden my mind... but... Why is it that I'm having doubts??? No actually the truth is, that's not my problems. My problem is I'm trying to imagine myself continents away from my family... I'm not homesick. I mean, I'm not wishing for home-cooked meal as much as I'm wishing for my family. They're the only thing that I’ve known best for the last eighteen years of my life. I just... SOFIYA WHY YOU HAVE TO PUT THAT SONG ON!

Anyway I’ve also realized that I haven't talk much on my activities here lately because there hasn’t been much to report on. My friends may are going in and out but I'm always here in my room, with books and homework and my internet connection and CHATTERZ! If you realize it's not that much different than when I'm at home.

-C-

MEMORIZING???

I
I just came back from my General Psychology class just now. I'm fasting today so while my friends are having their lunch right now, I'm sitting here in my room listening to WHAT IT FEEL'S LIKE TO BE A GHOST from my new CD. (Do I need to repeat which CD)

Anyway, there's something burning in me right now that I just have to let out. I don't like the way Dr. Fulton addressed us today. About how we've been spoon-fed all this while. I know2, that the Malaysian education system does not really promotes the best of each individuals. I've known of that fact since I started going to secondary school. I don't like how we have to learn stuffs that we don't want to and most probably won't use in the future. The product of it is, we'll end up memorizing facts n not understanding it because we simply dun have the passion to bother.

BUT i do believe that not EVERY student is like that. Including me. I know, I’ve complained more than enough before "Why do I have to learn Chemistry and Add Math?!" But you know what, I'm actually GLAD I learned all those. Those are precious knowledge that made me appreciate my surrounding more. Knowledge that helps me UNDERSTANDS my surrounding more. I had gladly tried my best to understand everything that I have ever learned. That's what puts me a step above I think. Because I'm well aware that memorizing can only bring you so far; therefore, that's why I try to, no, actually I DO, comprehend the stuffs that are taught to me. I'm not a sponge. That's one other thing I like about myself for being a rebel. When I don't particularly like a subject, I would rebel, as in question why I have to learn it? But I don't let it stop there. I find the answer as in WHY I’m learning it. And that made all the difference.

That's why I am a bit...mad, that most of my classmates just now nodded their head when Dr. Fulton said we had just been memorizing all these while. I felt it like an insult. Why, because I believe ALL of us are not the memorizing type. I do believe so. It's just not possible to just memorize and be where they are today. Why put yourself so low? Think about it.

-C-