Saturday, March 14, 2009

Jason's Letter

My darling Orked.

God is answering my prayers. Maggie has decided not to have the baby. She said she won’t destroy her future because of one stupid man. I guess that means me. Orked, I don’t want to talk about her anymore. I want to talk about us. I tried to write a poem in Mandarin about you. I wanted to make you understand how I feel.

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. I tried for days. The more I wrote, the more empty my words sounded. At first I felt panic. I couldn’t sleep for many nights. But then, the panic would go away every time I saw your face, or just heard your voice. I used to write poetry because to me, it was like writing letters to God; to tell someone I couldn’t see, how I felt inside. Then finally, God replied. With a poem more beautiful than anything I had ever written. He gave me you.

You are my poetry from God, Orked. Let me hear your voice. Please call me. I will be waiting. Just call me, Orked, so I can sleep peacefully again.

Your sayang, Jason.

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I was doing a lot of thinking when I realized that I haven't written anything at all for more than a week now. I got worried. Am I no longer connected with the romantic side of mine? Then suddenly I remember of the last few scenes in "Sepet" and especially of the letter Jason wrote to Orked. I'm not saying I'm as sweet or as thoughtful as Jason is, but as I told him before, I used to write because I was upset and angry with the world that no one wants to listen to me. That apparently was also the reason why I started my first blog before. But now...now I don't have anything to be angry about. Because God, being gracious that He is, gave me a person that truly understands and loves me unconditionally. How can anything I write beat that? :)

-C-

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