AUP

Finally I have something to write about after so long! :)

Yesterday I went to a friend’s house and I met a few old schoolmates that I haven’t talked to since they went to boarding schools. Of course all of us now are in different universities and colleges and therefore we were exchanging stories on our experiences. Then suddenly they were talking about how hard physics is. I joined in and said I agree. And then when they moved on to calculus I said it shouldn’t be that hard. And then one of my IT major friends were complaining about her java class and although I didn’t take the class I still butt in and said programming is interesting (based on the few flowcharts classes in Ms Chong’s class). And then one of them asked me what I am taking. I said political science. And then she shook her head and asked again, “No, what subjects are you taking?” I said anything I want and all eyes were on me.

I have always wanted to go to the States for as long as I can remember. The first thing that attracted me was the environment. I love it as the place you can grow into your own self without anybody or anything to hold you back. Second of all, I remember growing up and reading all those teen novels I always love it how the students can learn biology one period and after the next bell go to art class. How amazing I thought. Because I truly, madly, deeply hate it that I was STUCK in the science stream for the two years after PMR. I don’t understand why I can’t choose to take add math, drop biology, and take geography. Well, technically I can but I know how the teachers will react if I suggest it.

So now, this is it, this is finally my time. I want to learn EVERYTHING. University life is not just about getting a degree and walk away. Well, maybe that’s the notion here in Malaysia so that’s why I am very glad I’m out of it. I hear my friends talking about how they are just studying whatever it is because that was what were offered AFTER SPM. I mean, AFTER SPM! They just look at these ten or seventeen subjects and they think they can determine the major for these kids? And then I hear about my engineering friends who have to take a test for the UNIVERSITY to decide which engineering specifically they are going to go into depth. It’s mind blowing! I know it makes sense. Only certain high achievers can carry tough subjects, I got it. But what if after that the student changes his mind? Where can he go after a whole year doing a specific foundation? So here comes the US education.

Just because we learn music or art does not make us any less well in our major. In this system, students can learn and grow for the period of two years. That’s it. After that they have to make a choice on their major. See, it’s not that bad. It’s not like until we graduate we don’t have a clue what we’re doing. It’s called a liberal education because they want for scientist to be able to talk about society and engineers to understand the economy of the world. It makes you human, not a product-producing robot.

Even after all that she did, I’ll still remember what Ms Lee said in music class while pointing at Rassyid and me. “This is the reason why the government is paying big bucks to send you all the way to the United States. They want you to come back different compared to local graduates. As an American graduate you are supposed to be cultured and that is why they have classes such as this music class.” And I agree with her.

I am a proud to be an AUP undergraduate. I am proud because instead of telling the world I learn about politics, I just have to say I LEARN. And what do I learn? Anything under the sun that I want.

-C-

If only

You know what the word that I hate the most is? ...if

"If only you would have said so."

"If only you had come earlier."

"If only you had picked it up."

"If only you had chosen the other one."

"If only you didn't go."

"If only you could make it right."

"If only you had waited for me.”

"If only you had told me."

“If only you would understand.”

“If only you didn’t scream at me.”

“If only you had been easier to live with.”

'If' holds such a negative connotation. It reminds you of something you could have done, but didn't do. Why do people want to remind others of what they DIDN'T do? Unless by saying it you can turn back time and we can redo things, then just keep your mouth shut and thoughts to yourself. If someone has made a mistake or make the wrong choice, help the person live with it. Because in life it is simply impossible to go back and do it all again. It's impossible. So the best way to handle it is to take everything in stride and move on.

"If only others would understand this."

-C-

Pak Yeop

Last Friday, I helped my cousin move from our house to a condominium where she’s going to share with a bunch of other working ladies. We didn’t go on our own but an uncle of ours went with us just to be safe. After we left my cousin, I had to send my uncle back to his house too. While in the car he was talking with our helper about the corruption going on in Indonesia and suddenly he became one of the people I look up to.

I want to be like him…a human. A human who understands another human’s plight and can empathize, not just sympathize. I don’t want to be just another degree holder but know nothing of the human race. It doesn’t matter to me if you have a degree in engineering, accountancy, or…graphic. If you can’t relate to another person’s story I feel sorry for you as nothing defines you except your flimsy certificate and the knowledge you’ve memorized along the way.

You know how I always say I don’t like people judging without knowing the person being judged, right?

So as they were talking, my uncle suddenly said he understands why bribery is going on especially among police officers. Being someone who had to struggle once with a low income too, he understands their struggle. Police officers sometimes accept bribery not because they are greedy, but because they are desperate. Not because of loan sharks, but perhaps because their kids are starting school and are asking for new books and pencil cases. Or perhaps one of their children is in the hospital and they do not have enough money to pay the bill. I know, this should not be the justification for a crime made. But even in Islam, before you sentence a ‘thief’ for his hands to be cut off you have to investigate WHY he stole in the first place. Is it because his other Muslim brothers and sisters do not pay their zakat? If so, you cannot cut his hands.

I’m not writing this because I’m for bribery or theft. I’m writing because I want people to remember not to judge others without getting to the bottom of it. In our everyday life, we can’t help but to make snide remarks in our head. Maybe it is over someone who’s supposedly a ‘mat rempit’, or the person who’s eating garbage out of an Alam Flora trash, or just a person walking by wearing ‘last season’s clothes’. (By the way clothes are to cover you up, not to make a status statement. We may love Ugly Betty but how many of us really understand the message behind it?) All I’m trying to say is, don’t easily mark someone under one of the many categories you may have in your head i.e. jock, slut. That’s just a world created by you, in your head. It’s not real.

And another thing, even if you think that your philosophy in life is the correct one, you have no right to force it upon others.

I have a friend, her name is Fayyadhah. …oh you guys may know her from that long post I wrote on her. Anyway, she doesn’t like cinemas. She’s never been to one and vows to not go even in the future. She has her reasons and I salute her for never giving in to peer pressure. But the cool thing about her is, if I want to watch a movie with our other friends she’s more than happy to send us off with a wave while our tickets are torn. She does not roll her eyes, or shake her head disapprovingly or even give us a lengthy lecture. She simply stays true to what she believes in, inform us of this belief of hers so that we won’t offend her and then live without ever ridiculing us and vice versa. And I think she does the right thing. Imagine saying to a teenager, “No!” It’s like telling boiling water not to evaporate: pointless, and encouraging the opposite.

Don’t take it as me saying everybody needs to be egocentric and think only of oneself and don’t care if others are doing wrong. My point is the opposite. You have to be smart in dealing with people because humans are complicated; yet, they are most beautiful creation of God.

-C-