Gas

I spent last weekend sitting through the pre-marital class designed specially for Muslims. To my non-Muslim friends, if you guys don't know, we have to take this class before we can apply for wedding licenses here in Malaysia. It's actually a good class, I got to admit. The first few modules were mostly on Islam itself. After that the modules focused more on marriage-related discussion.

And for two days, I don't know why, the Ustazs and Ustazahs giving the lectures love to ask us this question: "When you go out on dates, have you ever heard your partner fart?" And most of them would look down sheepishly and shook their heads in response. All the while I was praying in my heart, "Look my way! Look my way!" because I was nodding fiercely since he certainly had heard me do the deed and he most definitely did too.

The 'lecturers' wanted to stress their point that most people have the wrong impression about marriage. Most think that marriage is a bed of roses and that their partners are the most perfect of human beings ever, only to be disappointed after signing the contract. One even told a story of how her 'senior' neighbor married and divorced a few men and one of the marriages ended because her husband farted during dinner. I mean, like, "Wo!"

I am proud to say that yes he has heard gas coming out of me from the many ways gas can come out from, and laughed heartily about it. Sometimes he would 'reply' himself. Am I disgusting for disclosing this to the public? You be the judge but honestly I don't think so. If you think farting and burping is disgusting, especially in front of your loved ones who are supposed to know you on the inside and outside, then you got a problem for it is only human nature to let something out once it is in. In fact, he has even heard me burp from one floor above. My maid said we were "2 x 5" for both of us burped just as hard.

Yes, marriage is more than just about burping. And I am not saying that we are more ready than the rest that shook their heads embarrassingly when provoked a bit. All I'm saying is, I'm glad I'm not a typical perempuan Melayu terakhir; sometimes, when you act to be one, guys would start put you on a pedestal and from there, many are bound to be disappointed.

That's why I ALWAYS told him to never put me or anyone else on a pedestal. I know I never. By doing so, we are more comfortable and content with each other and are able to accept without having too much expectation on the other. Some might say we are 'liberals' for not being 'shy-shy' as how most Malay couples are. My response is simple: I don't need to justify myself to those who don't know either one of us in the first place.

-C-